all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize