dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
