I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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