did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
time to smoke my breakfast
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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