We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
