We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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