Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
