i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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