I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
