It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
