My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Barsexuality is the new black.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
