what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
