found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
