They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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