I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
