ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
