Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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