she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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