That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
