So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
They took my balls.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
