So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
