with your own penis?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
