my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
