So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
