Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
