I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
