I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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