And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
