in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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