He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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