I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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