dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
