...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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