either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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