even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
