Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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