You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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