i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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