I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize