I accidentally had phone sex last night
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
