actually, I'm a sock model
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
