I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
