is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
