He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
