She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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