I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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