he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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