she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
