Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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