why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
