i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
