i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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