I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize