He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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