I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
