I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The air taste purple.
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