I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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