Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Say something about gay babies.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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