This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
