I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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