Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
