i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
