I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
